Our scars remind us that the past is real...

As most of you know a really significant day is coming up for me in a few days, a day filled with so much emotion but one that has impacted my entire LIFE… so I wanted to take a little time to reflect on how in world I got her. A lot has happen in the past 2 years and boy has been quite the journey. Two years ago today I was in full freak out mode! After great prayer, discussion and preparation I was leaving everything I “knew” to embark on an internship. I was taking off a semester of school with only 3 left till graduation to get some hands on field experience in the country I had grown to love. I felt given the opportunity to submerge myself in the daily lives of children like the ones I had hoped to work with, as a social worker was a no brainier. I wanted to spend this time in the orphanage so when I started working in the adoption world I would at least have some first hand experience. I wanted to know what these children went through, where they came from and how they dealt with the LIFE changing process of adoption but oh did God have other plans…

January 4,2010 I got on the plane with Mike and Missy and my LIFE packed in two 50 pound suitcases and a carry-on. I spent a few days with them while they did some paper work for Tia’s adoption and then on Thursday January 8^th they dropped me off at the orphanage. Those first 5 days were really hard! Probably the hardest I have ever gone through. I knew NO creole nor did I know ANYONE that lived there. Being an extremely outgoing person and one that talks ALL THE TIME, I had never felt so isolated and alone. It quickly became a time of finding myself; I didn’t have the things or people to fill my day with so I had to find ME, who I was outside of all my ‘stuff.’ I know God allowed me to walk through that time to show me who I was in HIM. Living such a comfortable lifestyle in the States filled with such great family and friends I sometimes turned to them in situations or I would allow a ‘problem’ to consume me instead of surrendering and allowing God to walk me through it. For the first time in my LIFE it was just God and I it was a rough walk but one that was so comforting to find rest in. Tuesday, January 12 came and actually started out as a really GR8 day! It was the first day that I didn’t cry, I have never been much of a crier actually I hate crying, so I was really excited. I was starting to get a feel for how daily LIFE was and slowly started communicating with the staff.

The earthquake was at 4:30ish pm on the 12^th. I came home on the 16^th to spend a little time getting myself together. Because of the scarcity of food and resources as well as the trauma my family had just gone though I felt it was best to come home for a little bit. Post earthquake there was a huge response from the people in the Nashville area; BGM became a donation spot so their office was inundated with phone calls and frequent visitors donating so I spent most of my time there. I wanted to go back and felt like I needed to but I wasn’t ready yet, I needed a little more time so I focused all my time working for Haiti. In May I felt like I was ready so I came back to finish out the rest of my internship at the crèche. Because the orphanage we were in was damaged we were moved to Dr. Bernard’s (the founder/owner) guesthouse up in the mountains. It was much different at the new crèche. LIFE was much crazier, it was summer so no school and there were teams staying there every week so we constantly had visitors and people around. I was exciting to be back and to see all the kids again but it was a big adjustment, everything that I had come to do in the beginning was completely turned upside down. When the summer was over I came back to the States but I knew me coming back was just a temporary trip. The call was on my LIFE, I knew that Haiti was where God had called me but I didn’t know what that looked like. I knew I was coming back and that it was going to be permanent I just didn’t know any details yet. I spent the fall working at the daycare I had worked prior to my internship. I went on a trip in October with Mike and Missy but I think that just fueled my fire even more to be in Haiti. After coming back I was on the prowl! I was going to use every person, resource, or connection I knew to get the ball rolling on me getting back. Some of family had a hard time with me not going back to school and I went back and forth on if I should but I knew that Haiti was were I was called. I knew finishing would only lengthen the time of me being able to get back as well as put me in more debt which would in turn prolong my ability to be in Haiti, where I didn’t need the degree I would be getting.

Around Thanksgiving I got in contact with a special needs orphanage not to far from where I was in the mountains called Wings of Hope. I started to talking with them and planned a trip to go down there for a month to get a feel for what they did and to see if I could maybe fit into their team somehow. I went to Wings with the hope and intent that this was where I would spend the rest of my LIFE. I wanted to be in Haiti so badly but I just felt like God was bouncing me around all over the place and I was ready to settle down and plant some roots. Wings of Hope was AMAZING! I loved every minute of being there! The children were so inspiring and full of LIFE and the staff was UNBELIEVIBLE! I had never seen a group of Haitians with such compassion and sense of family as the employees at Wings. Knowing the stigmas placed on people with disabilities I was floored to see these people who cared so much about these kids. They see the kids for their potential not their limits and they strived daily to push them to those. A few weeks in to my 6-week stay at Wings several things became very clear to me. One, that the Haitian people had to ability to give just as good of special needs care as any American despite what I had seen in other areas and two that Wings was an important part of my journey but not my final destination. I have to be honest I was slightly bummed by this; I wanted to find HOME and be there! The more I prayed through my time at Wings the more God began to reveal to me HIS big plan. That when it all started to come together, in those few days and the months to follow God began to connect so many what I call LIFE puzzle pieces. I started sharing where God had me with Mike and Missy and I have to be honest it was a little creepy how we all got on the same page at the same time. I came back to the States to fundraise and during my stay was when my world got super crazy.

I will never forget sitting on Mike and Missy’s bed about two days after I got back and we had one of the CRAZIEST/BEST conversations ever! It was a conversation where we just dreamed together and it was all little things that God had shown us on our own but for the first time we were all together and we were just word vomiting all the things God was revealing. As we began to share with some close friends and family the reality of how BIG myLIFEspeaks could be became a reality. I was ELATED, EXCITED, SCARED, NERVOUS all at the same time but for the first time in my LIFE I had a purpose. God had shown me a glimps of his plan and I was taking it all in. It took me a little bit to swallow the idea of me, a single 23-year old college drop, running an orphanage but I knew that it was only Satan way of attack me and my insecurities. While I may not have the educational background God has given me so much real life experiences in the past 7 years that equipped me just as much as a degree would have.

I went back to Wings the summer of 2011 to spend time to just learn. Like I said Wings is an amazingly well ran family and I knew that I could learn so much from them! So I marinated in their LIVES through the joys of accomplishments and the pains of death, it was a time I will never forget and one I am so thankful for. I came back at the end of September and we were in full myLIFEspeaks mode. We continued to meet with people and started to unpack the movement God had placed on the lives of my family and I.

On November 1, 2011 I moved into the myLIFEspeaks house and here I am today!!!! Now 8 days away from the launch of the myLIFEspeaks organization. I am here beginning to plan and prepare this house for the children that will one-day call us family and this HOME! It blows my mind to think of the rollercoaster journey I have been on the past two years. I never thought I would be where I am today! Actually a friend once said to me we should start on orphanage in Haiti, and I will never forget my response. “You can, I will never start an orphanage I couldn’t do something like that.” Well I guess God takes those kind of limits we put on ourselves and say ‘Watch, you cant by yourself, but I can use you to do something that BIG.’ I am so excited and honored to be apart of such a great team that really is going to make this happen. I believe in my heart that one day we will see a changed Haiti. This country has so much potential; they just need a little love and a lot of Jesus. myLIFEspeaks is here in Haiti to speak up for those who can speak for themselves while being apart of something much BIGGER them ourselves!!!!

Love you all, thanks for walking though this with me!

Katie <3

(Momma Kiki)

I’ll be the carrier of LOVE and COMPASSION, I ‘ll be the carrier of LIGHT to the world I’ll the carrier of HOPE and SALVATION, I will GO shine your LI

Ok I know I have been awful about blogging but I promise I will get better!!! So if you didn’t know God has had my family and I on an incredible journey over the past few years and I think it has officially started to come full circle, for the first time in all our lives we understand why God had us walk through some stuff...

I say all of that to say I am officially the On-site director for the myLIFEspeaks campus here in Haiti! myLIFEspeaks was birthed in 2006 and has come a long way since then, want to know more check out the website, www.myLIFEspeaks.com . I moved here to Neply, a village in Leogane, on November 1 and I hit the ground running! I live in a rental facility were we will begin to birth the vision God has placed on our hearts… While here the next 4 months of my time will be spent getting this house up and running so we can take in children!!! That’s right we are starting an orphanage! My heart is to see typical and special needs children grow up together in a loving family environment. People with special needs have an extremely hard time here in Haiti, most of them are abandoned by their families or severely mistreated and I want to see that change! Haiti is full of compassionate loving people and I think if they had people to come alongside of them and walk through these misconceptions they just might change! I believe in my heart they can and I will spend the rest of my LIFE trying to get there!

This is all very new but also very excited. I walked into a building that had two beds and a dresser but a HOME full of potential! Leslie Watson, myLIFEspeaks’ community involvement director, moved in with me a week later so it has been nice to have a little company in the big ole house :). The past two weeks have been a time of making the house livable but it is starting to come together slowly but surely. Tuesday was an extremely exciting day for myLIFEspeaks, Haiti! Mike came and saw the house for the first time and he also brought 15 people to work on the house as well. It was a completely humbling experience to see those people labor and sweat over this house to help us get it ready! Over the course of two days they cleaned out the old church on our campus that will server as our community center where we will do feed programs, English classes and many other dreams that Leslie has in store. They also scrubbed the 5 downstairs bedrooms and 2 bathrooms which is where the children will soon live. They also cleaned out the kitchen that will prepare the food for the feeding program as well as the house. I don’t know that I could possible thank them enough for all their hard work.

Tommorrow we will have a few people come by and start working on an old warehouse that will serve as the therapy house/short term clinic. I long for the day to be able to have specialist and expert come and serve our children and ones of the community and tomorrow we are going to help make that a possibility! Then I get to see Missy and Dyllan next week when they come and bring a small team. Our hope for them is that they would be able to start building some benches for the children in the feeding program to use, now they are sitting in a very cramped courtyard at another location. But with the help of Leslie Watson, Grace Pointe and team members we are able to bring the program here to a huge community center where they can eat at a clean and orderly facility. Daily I am reminded of Gods provision. I am so excited to be be apart of something BIGGER than me! God I just want to do something so great it destine to fail without YOU!!!! Hope all of you will SEE the OPPORTUNITY, OWN the VISION and JOIN the MOVEMENT.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE SAYING?

*KATIE*

Giving a little respect to those who dont recieve it....

With the joys of LIFE we too have to experience the sadness of death....

I don't know that I could have ever prepared myself for the things I witnessed today but as hard as it was I have to cling to my FATHER and find rest in HIM... Today, September 15th, my sweet Belinda went HOME to walk on streets of gold to be with her FATHER!!!! As hard as it is for me to write this I really do cling to knowing that she is REJOICING right now. With all the emotions that are running through my head, I feel it necessary to share the struggle that even death creates here in Haiti....


As much as I wish it was different, people with special needs are deemed worthless here in Haiti, they are shown no respect and outcasted greatly in society. My hope is that through this I can share with you a huge struggle that I face daily in the line of work I do... I ask you to pray for these sweet people who are shown this injustice as well as the country as a whole that maybe one day, we can put our differences behind us and learn to see people through the eyes of Christ!!!!!

When I went into the girls room to check on B this morning I was informed that she had gone to the Baptist Mission hospital... Obviously I quickly started asking questions but to my surprise no one could tell me what was going on, being the impatient person I am I decided I would go get the answers I wanted. I walked up to the hospital but when I got there I couldn't find them... Where were they? The directors told me she was up here, did they go somewhere else? Is she in the back somewhere? A thousand questions ran through my head so I decided to get a dear friend (who speaks creole since I dont) to ask the hospital staff if they had seen her. After we looked in EVERY single room for them he informed me that he was friends with one of the women who was with B... After he called her he informed me that they were on their way to the fifth hospital....

What do you mean the FIFTH hospital? Why is she not being seen, she is really sick? Why? I need answers!!! All these things were running through my head, but I knew why. I was mad, I was hurt, I was every emotion you could have. This sweet little girl is struggling to hold on and no one will see her because she is handicap....
As horrible as this is, its the TRUTH. So I walked back to the house and decided to shower while I waited for answers. When I went back over to get an update, I heard the news... My sweet little B just couldn't hold on anymore.

The next hour of my LIFE was possible the hardest experience I have ever witnessed...
As I stood there in shock, overwhelmed by the pain of losing someone so sweet the staff prepared her for her burial. We sang song, celebrated her precious LIFE and prayed over her. It was an extremely bittersweet time but one filled with the respect and dignity, exactly what she deserved!!!! Because she was a child with disabilities we had to take her to the cemetery somewhat secretly. She was buried between two plots at the cemetery not to far from the house.... It was a very hard time but I was so glad I could be there to respect her passing they way she deserved.
I know this will not be the only death experience that I walk through here in Haiti or in America but my hope is that when the FATHER calls his children home I am able to give them the proper respect their passing deserves, maybe one day others in this country will come to do the same but until then I will do my best to help change that....

"learn to do right. Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17

Katie <3

LORD IM AMAZED MY YOU...

As I set in my room writing this I get a little lost in the familiar sound of the song and dance of the children and staff just outside my door... Every Friday we gather together to WORSHIP!!! In pure humility it is a BEAUTIFUL time of praise, adoration and submission. One of the sweetest things I've ever witnessed... People coming before the Lord dancing, shouting, singing in whatever capacity they can! Working with special needs children has it difficulties and I think often times we limit what we think these kids can do unintentionally. I say that because I have come to experience a different kind of Worship here on Fridays. The JOY that flows through the atmosphere is contagious! You can't help but acknowledge the awe of God!!! "You dance over me while I am unaware You sing all around but I never hear a sound Lord I'm amazed by you, Lord I'm amazed by you Lord I'm amazed by you, how you love me" I am so thankful for that LOVE, oh how underserving of for it but how amazing that he graces us with it!!! The past three months here have stretched me in ways I wasn't expecting. In my opinion I think special needs children hold a special place in Gods heart. What the world deems as broken I think are sometimes the best vessels to show us how broken we should long to be. These children don't hold back, they don't tell you what you want to here. They don't hide there feelings and act like they have it all together. There not defined by their limitations but by their ability to preserver when the odds are usually against them. I had no idea that 12 years ago when I met a 2 year old little boy with cerebral palsy that God would explode in me a passion for these children of HIS'. I had no idea I would end up falling in love with a country and move here in the hopes of showing people that this group of people deserve and need that same love we all seek. God has huge plans ahead, plans that I often wonder if he chose the right one to carry out. This call is something I never expected I would do but oh is it confirmation that it's exactly what God wants! I am honored to serve him. I am so blessed to be able to take in each and everyone of these children God places before me. My hope is that through this ministry lives will be changed and people will come to know HIM and in return earn to see these children as CHRIST does. PERFECT! BEAUTIFUL! What are you walking toward? What is your LIFE saying?

The Enemy he has to leave, at the sound of your Great Name....

So much has happen so I am going to try and play catch up...
Every time I post something I normally title it with the line of a song... I LOVE music, I LOVE to sing and on pretty much any given day I have some tune running through my head. I feel like music is quite possible the best outlet one could have. Although I am no musician I do love music... So as I started writing this, I turned on my iPod and hit shuffle and one of my favorite songs was the first one on. I just sat there thinking how timing for these words as I begin to write the events that have happen in the past few weeks...

"All the Weak find their strength at the sound of YOUR NAME
Hungry souls receive grace, at the sound of YOUR NAME...

THE SICK ARE HEAL
THE DEAD ARE RAISED
AT THE SOUND OF YOUR GREAT NAME

REDEMER MY HEALER
DEFENDER MY SAVIOR
YOU ARE MY KING!!!"

At the beginning of the summer a wonderful and generous friend offered my family their house in Florida for a week, because of my dad's crazy schedule with summer camps and Haiti trips there was only one week that they were going to be able to go... The last week in July. I had already planned on leaving when we found out so there was no way I was going to be able to be there... I was really sad but tried to put on a happy face of it's all good, no worries. So as the trip approached I got on line and searched for cheap airfare several times. I wanted to find a way to get there and surprise them but as it got closer and closer prices just got higher and higher and there was no way... So the week before I was just really bummed and sad that I really couldn't work it all out, our first family vacation with the girls was going to happen and I wouldnt be there. I know in the grand scheme of things this is really trivial but my family is EXTREMELY CLOSE so it was a big deal to us... So on like on Thursday before they left on Sunday I just but a comment on Facebook about being upset about it and I decided to just give up and be ok with the fact that I wasnt going to be there... That was when God(through an amazing friend) stepped in... In a matter of on hour I was going!!!! The whole thing was worked out and it was going to be the best surprise ever!!!! So all I had to do was not say a word( that was quite possible the hardest thing ever!!!)
So I got to Florida the morning after they got there and they were SOOO SURPRISED!!!! The week was AMAZING! It was so good to see and spend time with my family. We laughed, played and like any Wilson event took TONS of pictures.... So the fam left on Saturday and I got to spend the night with a friend and head out the next morning, that is when it got bad.... Renee, the Director of Communication for the St. Joseph family that lives at Wings sent me an urgent message to get a hold of here ASAP... Those kind of messages don't ever end good, you know what I mean? So at 10:30 on Saturday night I finally got in touch with her only to be made aware that during my absence a horrible illness had found it's way into our home and taken the lives of two of our kids and had 4 others very sick...
I WAS SPEECHLESS... WHAT DO YOU SAY,WHAT DO YOU DO, WHAT DO YOU THINK....
Not knowing what it was or what could happen she wanted to make me aware of the situation and caution me of what I was coming back to. Needless to say I didn't sleep much that night from the shock and pain of loosing these two sweet children, but I knew I had to go back and be strong for these kids and workers. I finally got back to the house about 4 Sunday night... You could see the fear of catching this crazy illness in the eyes of the kids, it was so saddening and my heart just began to break for each and every one of them. The next few days were a time of remembrance for the ones who were no longer with us as we continued to pray for the ones who were struggling to hold on at the hospital...
The house became Fort Knox, there was so much bleach everywhere that I dont think it would have been possible for any illness to live through it.... Our last kid came home 4 or 5 days later and now I an happy to say everyone is well!!! Thanks to Brent and BGM we were able to start everyone on antibiotics shortly after I got back. We are just rejoicing in HIS continual provision and protection. As hard as it is to have to walk through, death is part of LIFE and we have a choice of how we deal with it... Learning to praise God during the storm is hard but an attest to the depth of our faith in HIM!!!
"It's what you do with the pain and suffering that matters the most..."
God brought Richnyder and Carolyn to Wings for a reason, he chose to share his precious children with us and I am so thankful but it was time for them to be with their FATHER, they are no longer in pain or suffering but rejoicing and praising HIM, so we too should share in their REJOICE and PRAISE!!!!

Love you all,
Let your LIFE speak....

Love them like Jesus, carry them to him...

For those that know me I dont get emotional very often but God has a way of turning the hardened hearts into mush and he is working hard on this one well maybe not that hard these days....
This is John he is one of the sweet faces that call Wings of Hope home. John has been a part of the St Joseph's family for two years. John is such as sweet boy but because of the his abusive past he doesn't mingle with others much... John was recently hospitalized, he had a horrible respiratory infection as well as some bowel related issues. Because John wander the streets before he came to Wings, he likes to get in the trash and can be found there if not be watched...
Some the staff members became very concerned with his quick downward spiral so he was taken to the Baptist Mission hospital so he could be better nursed back to the smiling little spit fire we know....
I tell you all that to share with you a very humbling and sweet moment I had on Tuesday night. John had been having a pretty good day, he had starting eating again and seemed to be getting back to himself. It was late in the afternoon and the group of BGM visitors had just left. I was sitting out on the porch and John came up to me and climbed in my lap... I was blown away! John doesn't really do things like that especially unprompted... He spent the next three hours clinging to my neck, cuddling. It was an overwhelming feeling for many reasons...
From the time I felt that God was calling me to come to Haiti I have always said "I want to be a mother to the motherless... I want to be that consistant unconditional love that is there through it all. I want to be there to when they have a bad day or don't feel good and just want to be loved... I want it all the good, the bad and the ugly." Today if only for those few minutes that is what I became for John...
It was a sweet moment to be there but more then that it was a confirmation from the Lord that he has a plan for me and it is exactly that, to Love his children like Jesus and carry them to him...
Thanks for reading guys...Love you all!!!!

I had the time of my LIFE, and I owe it ALL to YOU....

I thought I would do a little update since I've been back at Wings for a week now... Its been a crazy past couple of days but oh did the kids have a blast!!! I got back last Wednesday(the 22nd) and its been non stop since I got here. The kids and staff were excited to see me as was I to see them... There is a kid named Matt that is here with his mother for a month so I met them and we have been messing with each other ever since... He's a hoot and its going to be hilarious to spend the next month with them. I got settled in and ready for the team that arrived Friday.
Cotting, Wings sister school arrived Saturday. It's always exciting around the house when they are here... they bring a level of excitement that no other group can bring!!! We went down to St. Joseph's for church Sunday am, where I was able to see the massive progress they had made on the new boys house... I also met Michael, the man that started the St. Joseph's, The Trinity House and Wings. He is such an amazing man and I look forward to getting to know him and learning about his experiences.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were spent doing student evaluations and goal casting for next year... One of my new roles at the house is behavior so sitting in on all the meeting helped me evaluate where the kids are now and where the staff would like to see them be. I will be working with the kids in many different aspects... Anger management, socially acceptable behaviors, proper dressing, and all kinds of different things. Its going to be a long process but I think it will be challenging and exciting to see the improvement they will make!!!



Yesterday after countless hours of preparation we packed all the kids up and went to the BEACH!!! It was AMAZING!!! The kids were SOO EXCITED and the had a BLAST!!!! We went to Kalico Beach which is about 2 1/2 hours away but it was worth the drive!!! We spent the entire day there soaking up the sun and splashing in the ocean, each visitor and staff member was paired up with a kid and your only responsibility was to have fun... Ester was my partner and because of her limited mobility we spent the day relaxing in the ocean. The kids that are able to walk got the opportunity to ride a jet ski for the first time ever!!! They were sooo excited to get to drive up and down the shore and wave to all their friends. It was a priceless sight, I was so glad they go to do it. The less mobile ones rode on a boat around the strip of beach clubs but Ester and I chilled on our float and watch(it was great)!!! We ate lunch right on the beach then went back in for a little more water action before we packed everyone up and headed home... Needless to say the ride back was a little quieter then going but we still had our fare share of action as we ran out of gas TWICE... We got home around 8 and I think I was in the bed around 8:15... I was burnt and worn out!!! ALL IN ALL IT WAS A GREAT DAY!!!!


BEACH BUMS....



Today was another fun filled day... Today we finished breakfast and loaded up about 20 of the kids and went SHOPPING!!! The have a designated fund for the kids to be able to go and buy toys and things once a years so the staff decided why not do it when we have a group of visitors who can handle the outing... Each kid was paired with an adult and given an envelope of money. We went to the Eagle grocery store which has a rather decent toy section and allowed out kids to pick out whatever they wanted... Sam my partner got a bag of play toys including two shovels a pale, a dump truck, train, boat and several other things. He then hit the food section to spend the rest of his money... We got crackers, cookies and of course some candy!!! We finished our trip with a visit to Epi'dor for lunch... We got Cheeseburger and fries!!! Most of the kids like to get ice cream but Sam however HATES ice cream so we stuck to a bigger order of fries and a big coke... It was fun to get out and have just a regular ole day of shopping and grabbing a bite to eat!!!



RAGS....TO....RICHES...

Im so blessed to be able to do what I'm doing... hope all of you enjoyed my little blurb about what's going on in my neck of the woods... love you all and please continue to pray for God's provision and blessing on the kids and this country!!!!

Enjoying the Journey
Katie