Hold on... Be strong...

So I'm going to try and get this up to date as best as possible... there has so much that has happen since then so I am going to have to summarize some of the things that happen...
The bus that Dr. Bernard was able to get took all the kids and workers to the Guesthouse while Mike Brent Tia Naika Dr.Bernard Claudette and I went to check on the orphanage... We saw tons of destruction, devastation and death... I was speechless there was nothing I could do or say to fix this, I remember just thinking maybe if I just went to sleep I would wake up and all of it would be a dream. It took us about 4 hour to get to the guesthouse once we were arrived they quickly sat us down to eat. We went to our room shortly after and attempted to sleep, there were two after shocks that night. After the first one happen I was awake, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't so I decided I would start writing down as much as I could... We got up and got ready so we could start on our journey to go back home... Little did I know that this was the start of one of the craziest days. We got to the airport even getting Tia in but little did we know that getting her into the airport wasn't that big of a step there was much more to come...
Up until this point the plan was for all of us to come home together on a private plane but from that point on none of the plans we had in our heads happen, it was all God from here. Mike stayed in Haiti with Tia because he would have gone to jail if he brought her home illegally while Brent and I came home. We had tons of obstacles and first experiences but thankfully after 36 hours and no sleep I was back in Nashville... those 36 hours were the most emotional 36 hours of my life, it all became real. The numbness went away and it hurt. Badly.
I didn't think I would ever come back, I didn't think I would see my family again. but what was harder was in the midst of those emotions the only thing I wanted was to be right back where I had just left. The country I loved and came to help had just experienced the most devastating natural disaster and I left three days after it happen...

Recollecting on a LIFE event!!! Part 2

I didn't realize how much of the earthquake I hadn't written about...
So I get the phone call the morning after that Mike was on his way(January 13)... So the waiting began... I have honestly tried my hardest to think about what happen the rest of that day (Wednesday) but I cant, I don't know if I blocked it out or so much happen during that time I just cant remember but Tuesday for the most part is still a blur to me... I remember things and conversations I had over the 2 days we spent outside but which days they happened are what run together...
Jamarie and Wesley the two males workers had to go inside the creche the next morning to get food and essentials for the kids, the kids had gone since 1:00pm the day before without anything to eat or drink. The babies in diapers hadn't been changed since at least 4:00. Babies here in America would have a hard time going 15 hours without food as well but most of these babies are extremely malnourished and dehydrated so that 15 hours was becoming extremely LIFE threatening!!! The sight of seeing two men (who could have easily walked away and said this is my job these are not my children)go into a building that was completely unsafe and potentially going to fall at any minute to save the lives of children was OVERWHELMING and completely humbling... It was an experience of seeing FAITH IN ACTION, I saw two men become CHRIST, their willingness to sacrifice their LIFE to care for others was AMAZING!!! They didn't do what they did for glory they did it because their love for those children is so deep that they would lay down their lives for them just as a parent would and just like JESUS did for each and every one of us...I have fallen in love with Haiti for multiple reasons one of them being their understanding and execution of the word COMMUNITY. I have never been around people who genuinely love and care about their neighbor the way the bible tells us to as much as the people of Haiti and what make that love grow even deeper was going through the most traumatic situation most of them will probably ever experience and seeing that love not be compromised but increased tenfold... Sometime after noon on Tuesday some men brought a woman to the church where we were staying, she couldn't walk because her house had collapsed on her. She had a huge laceration on her head where debris had hit her head as well as multiple cuts, scraps and a broken leg. I watched an extremely graphic sight as the workers of the creche did their best to clean and remove glass form her head and attempt to stabilize her leg until further medical attention could be given.Little did I know 6 months after my return this situation would be the hardest thing I deal with... God used this very moment of people with no knowledge of what to do come together and help someone they had never meet. I had such a hard time with why. Why did they do that, why did they help her, why did they cut her hair out and dig in her head with a razor to get the glass that was digging into her scalp, why did they give this woman food for a day and a half when the food they had was almost gone, Why??? I know the church answer because it's the right thing to do, I know that but there were over 200,000 people who died from the earthquake. They men and women were taking care of 48 children who had just be displaced from the only stability and safety net they had and instead of retreating and protecting what they had they were giving it out and caring for those who couldn't.
I remember that morning going into the village behind where we were to take a shower, Jamarie had a friend in the village that he insisted I go to his house to shower and use the bathroom at. So we got up and went over to their house then we came back and waited... I talked to Missy and she told me Mike was trying to get to us but there was so much damage that she didn't know how long it would take... To everyone here that made all the sense in the world, but I didn't really understand what she meant. I hadn't been but maybe 150 ft away from the platform we were staying on and everything around us was cracked but nothing was down that I could see. It wasn't until after Mike got there that I realized how bad it really was...
Anxious was an under statement... Knowing my dad was on his way to get me consumed my every thought. I was trying to hold myself together but the anxiety wasn't only in me but in the other workers as well. I told them my dad was coming and that they were bringing help so it was a constant wondering of when they would get there. Every time someone walked past the gate I looked to see if it was Mike. I remember being so wound up that I felt nauseous, I had to get my mind off of it ha ha... I decided that I would go and sit down and try to write down some what was going on. So much had gone on and I knew the questioning would coming so I did my best to go back and write as much as I could.
I started writing trying to add as much detail as possible and remember as much of what happen as possible I got about a day an a half's worth of the earthquake and I just happen to look up and there they were... Brent came in first and came up the stairs and started looking for me as I frantically was putting my stuff in my bag so I could go over to Mike... To every one's surprise (NOT!!!!) Mike walled in holding his flip camera to document the "Katie being found." It was an overwhelming moment, being faced with death brings upon a profound longing for your family and for reasons God is revealing to me little by little I am starting to understand why God allowed me to be exactly where I was on January 12 2010...I think from the time Mike got there with Brent, B, Dr Bernard and Claudette the reality of what happen became real. Mike started telling me all this stuff and I honestly remember shutting him and Brent both out... They were both chatter boxes and running around and I couldn't even catch up with what they were saying. They were telling me about all this destruction and masses upon masses of catastrophes but it was like they were talking about another world... I could come to grips with the fact that less than half a mile a way thousands of lives were gone... All I kept saying to myself was, WHY AM I STILL HERE??? Dr. Bernard got a vehicle, which was a miracle in it's self because there were no vehicles to be found and we loaded all of the children in a bus which took them and the workers to his guesthouse in Thomasin... Mike, Brent, B, Dr Bernard, Claudette, Naika, Tia and Myself all got in a van and made our way to the orphanage to check on the kids there.
I saw many things that I hope I or anyone else never have to experience again but I think the hardest thing to process is the sight of 8 white dump trucks carrying the bodies of over 400 children who where killed in the collapsing of a school... Seeing it was hard but then finding out that the school was located one street over made that nauseousness in the pit of my stomach even worse. We spent the next 2 hours driving the 25 min. drive to the orphanage. I have never seen destruction like this, every street we went down was either blocked with buildings that had fallen or people dead and alive who had no where to go. There were piles and piles of bodies everywhere. As we drove through the street I just sat there in amazement. Yes I had felt the earthquake but I just couldn't understand how or why something like this happened?

Recollecting on a LIFE event!!! Part 1

I could give you the excuse that I have been too busy to sit down and write where I'm at (which I really have) but I just haven't been there yet. So much has happen in the past three months I really don't know where to start...

On Thursday, January 7^Th I went to the creche to begin my 6-month stay… Saying good-bye was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. At that moment all the reality set in, I was in a country by myself without anyone and I was terrified. Dealing with abandonment and isolation was very real to me growing up, being in the environment where I had no one those feeling became real again. God had brought me to Haiti for numerous reasons one of those was to break me of my attachments. I was allowing people and the busyness life to come in the way of my dependency of Christ. I believe 100% that God had to break me first in order to use me for the weeks that were to follow. God was all I had!!! He provided more for me in three days then I could ever imagine. The first weekend at the creche I spent most of my time crying... I did a lot of journaling and some intense time in the word!!! God was all I had, and he quickly became more than enough. In preparation for my trip my biggest fear was the language barrier... And oh was it a ligament concern. I was in a five story building with over 50 people in it and one of them knew English and it wasn't good by any means. I consider myself a fairly easy going kinda person who can get along with most people or at least ease most situations with a little humor. But none of that mattered... I was in a place where my comfort, my ability to communicate was useless!

Needless to say God was quick to intervene and provide a true ANGEL, who goes by the name of Jamarie or John Mark as I called him for 3 days till he said "you know my name is not John Mark right?... NO" Jamarie was a man that worked at the creche as a janitor. At night he would come to my floor and we would talk because PRAISE YOU JESUS!!!! He knew English, well a little at least. He learned some English in school but never had anyone to practice with so he was very eager to talk to me as was I eager to talk to him or anyone at that point :-) The first two nights we just got to know each other during this time he gave me a book that had creole in it, he said he was going to teach me creole because I was helping his English...

I have no doubt in my mind that the reason God placed Jamarie in my life was to be there during the earthquake. When the earthquake happen he was the first person to find me and he refused to leave my side until Mike came and got me two days later. I really didn't know what was going on during the quake but afterwords I said to myself I think this might be bad, not ever being in a earthquake I really had no idea what to do or what a earthquake could do...The creche was unsafe due to the first two floors buckling so we move all 48 children across the street to an elderly woman's property where a church was in the process of being built. It was a foundation with re bar posts that had an old Verizon build board as a temporary covering.

I cant explain my feeling during the earthquake or even after because I can't say that I had any. When we got all the kids over to the church the night of the earthquake I asked Jamarie what we were going to do and he said we will wait for Dr Bernard to come, I knew that it would possible be at least a day till anyone came so all there was to do was wait. I was overwhelmed with the presence of Christ from the moment it hit. I didn't know what the future held, I didn't know if we were going to live or die, be helped or not but I did know God was in control and that was all I needed. I can't describe the feeling but when you come face to face with Christ its an overwhelming experience!!!! I remember saying "God I now know why you brought me here, I don't know if I'm going to die here or spend several months here but YOU are with me and that all I need." I wasn't giving up but it was a very real moment that this really could be the end and I was so OK with that...

I tried to stay up as long as I could but my body was just shutting down. The sweet lady that lived on the grounds cleared me a spot and gave me two blankets to sleep on and I gave in. Throughout the night there were aftershocks that were followed by constant cries of Praise, Fear and Uncertainty. The next morning was when I was received the phone calls from my step mom and Mike and Missy. I had to turn my phone off the night before because all calls were failing and I only had half a battery. I talked to Mike and Missy and told them where we were and Mike reassured me that he was coming to get Tia and I...

That awesome... But when?.... How long would it take?... How many days would it take them to get to us? It was worse know that someone was coming then thinking I was stuck there forever because know someone was coming consumed me....

Seeing through the eyes of Christ....

Today was an amazing day!!! We visited so many places and met some amazing people today, I think today I saw a glimpse of the beauty of Haiti the way God sees Haiti. Today we got up and went to see some of the places that BGM will brings teams to and work. We went by the Orphanage, the Creche and the beach the we might be staying at. I was able to see my room that I at the creche where I will be for the next 6 months with Tia. We met up with a friend of Brent's named Gilbert and he took us all around Haiti. We went to an oil factory where they take this root and make oil that is used for perfume. They also age this wood for 20 years that is turned and separated into oil for fuel. We also went and visited Charlie at the Mission, we got to see our friends and hang out with them. On the way back around 5 we experienced something we have never done before, we went all the way back in the bark! (in the US driving in the dark is no big deal, but in Haiti there are NO street lights and it was CRAZY and a little scary!!!) We were in a huge traffic jam where Gilbert was weaving in and out like a crazy person, but it was awesome!!! I am back at the guest house and about to shower and hit the sack. This is the last night I will be at the Guesthouse for a while so I will blog as soon as I can. Thank you guys for your prayers. I love you all!!!

I am here!!!

Mike, Missy and I woke up bright and early yesterday morning and headed out. We arrived at the airport in Nashville at 4:30am boarded and headed out at 6. We had a little of a layover so Missy's nephew came down and we were able to hang out a little. We arrived in Haiti at 4:15pm where we were surprised to find out our luggage and 30 other bags were lost(that made for an interesting night, I am such my mother's child because the only thing I was worried about was brushing my teeth)... Because I normally have all my stuff in my backpack when I come to Haiti, the idea of my stuff being lost never crossed my mind so I had NOTHING!!! We all just laughed about it and said well hopefully it will make it here tomorrow. When we left the airport we went to Dr. Bernard's office in Port-Au-Prince (where I will split my time 2 days in his office/ 3 days at the creche.) and picked up two women who were adopting and Dr.Bernard. We went back to the guesthouse(which is AMAZING!!!) and ate dinner. After dinner we played volleyball which was interesting since Mike and Missy were dressed up and I had on a dress.
We got up this morning ate breakfast then we headed out to the office. Mike and Missy were able to go see the judge and some of the other families worked on their adoptions as well. Right before we left the office we joined the workers in a time of devotion which was AMAZING to see workers come together and praise God in the middle of the day. We went to the airport and picked up our luggage and headed back to the house for lunch and some down time.

T minus 4 hours

Well... it's really here. I am laying in my bed for the last time in seven months. I have a million things on my mind so I thought the best way for all the people in the US to feel included and in touch with what's going on I would write to you.

I can't begin to tell you the things God has already done in my life through this trip and I haven't even left Franklin yet. In June of this past year(2009) I was anxiously awaiting my trip to Haiti the week of July 4th (my birthday.) Our family was and still is in the process of adopting a little girl from Haiti and through the director of the orphanage I found out about the opportunities the orphanage had for interns. Having the heart for Haiti and it's people I immediately started praying about going. Knowing that God was working in me at the time regarding his call on my life the idea that serving in Haiti was a TRUE calling became reality. I emailed Dr. Bernard regarding my interest in interning and he quickly responded with open arms.

This entire experience has been completely ordained by God, from the moment I was given conformation as to go God has literally lined everything up. I have had an overwhelming peace about it all because I KNEW the Lord would not call me to do something and not provide better than I could ever imagine and he has done just that. I don't know that six months ago I could have convinced myself to do this but I know that God has something huge in store and I can't wait to be apart of what He is about to do in Haiti.

I think one of the biggest ways God showed me just how serious he was, was through the financial aspect of this trip. I am a college student who works 10 hours a week. I didn't have a clue as to how I was going to pay for this trip but I knew that I couldn't let money stop me from going. So I sent letter and told myself daily that God was going to provide and boy did he ever...

This was the beginning of December (a month before I was leaving) I was sitting in my room and I was beginning to freak out because I had received some money but I still had a LONG way to go, I was checking the mail daily and it was not looking good. So I decided to take it upon myself to email Dr. Bernard and say that I didn't know if I was going to have the money. I then had a LONG conversation with God where I had to give it up, I knew I couldn't make it work but I was going to try. God was quick to show me that he could when I had received the total $3,500 needed for the trip within 10 days of that conversation!!!

God is all over this trip and I thank you for all your prayers and support updates to come...

~Katie